Breaking Up (with social media) Is Incredibly Hard to Do.

It is SO hard to leave social media. I thought I’d left it, but now I know that in this life, and without much more blood sacrifice, I may never be able to truly pull free. On November 16, I pulled the plug on Facebook. I was firm about it. In no uncertain terms, I let…

Resilience and The Edge

In the last two years I’ve experienced divorce after 20 years of marriage, a move, major business challenges, a breakup, and massive attacks from members of communities that I have built. I’d had the arrogance to think that I’d done the work to heal my wounds, that I was tough as nails, and that the…

The Impossible Pursuit of Happiness – Lessons from Shtisel

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning With all this time I’ve carved out in my life because I quit Facebook, I can now indulge in the pleasure of diving into an engrossing show. My next step will be to simply sit and enjoy the show for…

What Happened When I Stopped Complaining and Started Listening

This weekend marked a full two calendar months since I left Facebook, for good. I remember a day when not checking it for a day felt like a massive test of will. Now, the idea of entering back into that particular drama-ridden fray leaves me dyspeptic. My friend looked at me the other week and…

Cutting through the Noise

Tomorrow it will be five weeks since I left Facebook. I’m still alive. I barely recognize myself. My cage of choice is much smaller than the previous version. But now the decor is more to my taste, and I am in full control of who I choose to allow to occupy it with me. If…

It’s Been 3.5 Weeks Since I Quit Facebook

Hello, I’m Ilana, and I’m a social media addict. Let me assure you that a) I’m not making light of addiction, and b) I have not been in denial of my own addiction over the course of years. I have fully owned it but because I was still a high functioning multi-hat wearer, I had…

How Accountable Are You?

It’s a big word, accountability. At its base, from dictionary.com: ac·count·a·bil·i·ty /əˌkoun(t)əˈbilədē/ noun the fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility. “their lack of accountability has corroded public respect”   There is so much to read on the subject, but there’s so much more room for nuance than most people understand. Did you know that…

On Responsibility

It’s been one week since I broke up with social media. I intend for this to be a permanent move. I was enmeshed. I was beyond choice. I was irresponsible. I was addicted. And I am done. A wise woman said to me this week, “You are running water. Running water cannot be stopped. It…

Alone

(Photo credit – I found it on the internet a while ago and am not sure who to credit :/) Happy Labour Day, everyone! Today is a day to rest from the busy-ness of life, and a day to process. Some thoughts to share with you, as I gather them to me with the intention…

This is a Fuck It Post for the Women Who Leave

This is a fuck it post for the women who leave. This is a fuck it post for all the women who have chosen emancipation, as fucking HARD as it is, over the life proscribed for us by the patriarchy. This is a fuck it post for the women who have chosen their hearts and…

May Whole30 with Ilana Grostern

Hello, Internet! You’re ready to GO! You’ve decided that you’re ready to do a Whole30! Whether it’s your first or your 4th, you still feel you could use a little hand-holding and someone to talk to when those cravings threaten to get the better of you. Also, you want to connect with other people in…